Music that will never be heard again

As some of you will know, this year, my eldest son, Ainan, just turned 13, has taken to composing music. He does so, now, on a daily basis, after coming home from University. He sits at the piano tinkling away. 

Sometimes he plays pieces he has already composed – usually recent ones, sometimes searching for ways to expand them, sometimes just enjoying them. On other occasions, he invents new compositions, directly on the piano, tinkering with them, until satisfied. At other times, he plays the music of others: Bach, Beethoven, Liszt, or music from video games, Bioshock, Portal 2, or movies, such as the Matrix. It is, however, a very frequent sound in our household now: Ainan on the piano, at work at something or other.

A couple of evenings ago, I was drowsy after a long day and half asleep, I heard the most beautiful sound: music I had never heard before, coming from our piano. I was really quite taken by its slightly haunting sound.

I woke up, fully and made my way through the house to Ainan.

“That is beautiful. Really good.” I said, to him, startling him from his reverie.

He seemed to be not quite fully in my presence when he caught my gaze. I realized then, that I had interrupted him, perhaps unwisely.

“Carry on.” I urged him. “It was good.”

His hands tracked back to the piano, and tried a few notes. He didn’t seem to know what to do in that moment.

“Play it again.”, I said, feeling perhaps, that I had made a mistake.

“I can’t.”, he said, a little sadly. “It was impromptu.”

“Did you record it?”

“No. I can’t record everything I do. There is just too much.”

I understood then, that, if I had not interrupted him, he would have learnt the piece, by continuing to work on it. My admiration in the moment, had cost us all, his musical work.

What a pity.

So, a couple of evenings ago, I heard a piece of music beautiful enough to arouse me from half-sleep, to full wakefulness; a piece of music that haunted and caught the attention in equal measure. Yet, now it was lost, because I praised it.

I am coming to think it would be wise if we could establish a set up that records everything he creates, so that this could never happen again. I shall look at the options. I would rather not have the privilege of hearing music that is only ever heard once, in the world. There is something too sad about that – especially when it was my fault.

Posted by Valentine Cawley

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